GO AWAY ALICE
Whats red and bad for your teeth?
well you’re not wrong
i think mostly that i’d rather have a happy personal life than a successful career and i’d never choose money over loved ones but some times i...
why didn’t i listen to those hilarious amazon reviews of the sugar-free gummy bears
they tried to warn me
and i didn’t listen
YOU GOT THE GUMMI RUNS
appropriate white culture. dance offbeat at the club. scream at your barista when she doesn’t put enough splenda in your latte. clap at the movie theater when the credits roll. put your child on a leash.prefer to be called caucasian even if you’re not from the caucus region. only empathize with animals and yourself. write prolific dissertations on hunger games characters being oppressed then ignore oppression in real life.
when i find myself in times of trouble
terry pratchett comes to me
whispering sam vimes once arrested a motherfucking dragon
you are capable of literally anything
Sam Vimes once arrested two opposing armies to end a war.
Sam Vimes fought an ancient mind-controlling spirit and won. Sam Vimes killed a werewolf with his bare hands. Sam Vimes happily wears the awful lumpy itchy socks his wife knits him. Sam Vimes causes traffic jams in order to be home in time to read his baby a bedtime story. Sam Vimes fought at the barricades— twice. Sam Vimes waited until his interviewee had left and then put his coat over his head so no one could hear him laughing hysterically at her silly name. Sam Vimes is my hero.
Sam Vimes overcame a crippling alcohol dependency. Sam Vimes examines and confronts his internal prejudices. Sam Vimes lived in poverty because he was giving his salary to the widows and orphans of fellow officers. Sam Vimes cleaned up a corrupt police force and made it inclusive of the different ethnicities in his city.
Sam Vimes is my hero too.
He turned to leave, then seemed to have a thought. “Sergeant Dorfl!” he said, turning back. “D’you think you’ll believe in gods now?”
Every eye in the Watch House turned to the golem sergeant. “Not Gods, Yet.” said Sergeant Dorfl. “But Always Sam Vimes.”
do it for the vimes
i want the kind of funding that scientists in comic books have. where are you getting this money? do you publish papers or do you just turn people into giant lizards and call it a day? do you have to get that shit peer reviewed? who is paying for your research? can you give me their email address
i have googled ‘evil science grants’ and the results were not satisfying