I KNOW RIGHT.
But just. Imagine Phil as a young agent. A little terrified at times but with so much promise. And Agent K has always hated working with SHIELD but then this Coulson guy asks him if all agencies pedal the same bullshit. He’s got natural talent, he keeps tabs on more things than his supervisors think he does, and he can’t hold his drink nearly as well as he should.
K would consider asking him to jump ship, but C has a heart in him and the good guys just never last as long as they should.
nO NO NO NO
Coulson hasn’t worked with aliens before. He’s completely unprepared for the explosion of limbs into tentacles, and tentacles into barbs. K doesn’t know who he pissed off to get stuck with a junior agent, a junior agent of SHIELD on this one. Probably everyone.
“You hanging in there kid?” he calls over as his gun charges, the high whine of it audible because every MIB’s life depends on the pitch reaching the right level at the right time.
Coulson looks over with a wild grin on his face, like he’s thrilled to bits and having the time of his life, that grey suits that didn’t fit him right already torn at one shoulder and splattered with goop across the shirt. “Feet still kicking, sir,” he calls back cheerfully.
K snorts. He’s too old and weary to smile at Coulson’s enthusiasm, but he can appreciate dedication to protocol and the way the kid pops out of his hiding spot to read the alien its rights does make a pretty good distraction.
“Not a great plan,” he says later, as Coulson is trying to scrape enough splattered alien off himself to be able to move.
“Not a great aim,” Coulson replies without malice.
K doesn’t need to defend himself to a wet-behind-the-ears agent, but his shoulder aches and the “Got the job done” slips out anyway.
Coulson glances up at him them, a small smile on his face that makes him look devious but still so very young.
“Come on,” K says. Coulson doesn’t ask where they’re going, doesn’t complain about walking away from the clean up before they’re due, and he doesn’t question the drink K buys him.
So at least he’s smart about some things.